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Alpine 4/19/09
The Epic Nap
by Aaron Masai
Life hasn’t been easy as of late.
There’s no easy way to say it. My grandfather passed away on April 24; he had a massive heart attack and was on life support for a few days before he finally went home to be with Jesus. The last time there was a death in the family was when I had discovered our new goldfish belly-up in his tank. I don’t remember what age I was, but I was young enough to get a new fish by crying and making a fuss.
No amount of fuss can bring my grandpa back; it’s not a fuss I’ve been making. Having never delt with a real death before, I’ve been keeping a close watch on my emotions. While my emotions have been all over the place, they’ve been more mild then I thought they would be. The long drive to Alpine, TX gave me some time to be by myself. (Henry’s van only took 2 others besides me and Henry to save on gas.) Sure, I reflected on all the things Grandpa and I used to do together, my family and how things were going at home.
But that wasn’t the main thing on my mind.
I took psychology in college, so I know all about the seven stages of grief and all that good book knowledge. But I felt troubled by something I didn’t expect. I felt lost. “Where am I,” I asked myself silently, “This place doesn’t look familiar at all!”
It wasn’t as though I forgotten my purpose or had suddenly become homesick; I’m no stranger to travel or when or where I make my bed. But for a few hours on the road to Alpine I felt quite alone. I looked at my phone for my text messages, but they seemed foreign and empty. I thought of my friends and they seemed like strangers. It was as if I had been swimming and had lost sight of the shore. Texas is a big place and a long way from home. Surely God hadn’t forgotten I was out here ... had he?
I sat on the van and watched the mountains and the mesas pass by. The colors of the dry landscape came to me. For a moment, I was distracted. Just for a moment I marveled at the Creator who intentionally designed such beauty. Suddenly Joshua 1:9 hit me like a train: “have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
I breathed a sigh of relief; stale van air never tasted so good.
“Look at the beautiful things I have created,” the Lord said to me. “I have been where you were, I am where you are and I will be where you are going. I have not left you. You will never be out of my reach.”
Through tear-filled eyes, I looked at the time; it was still a few hours to Alpine. I stretched out and closed my eyes. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, and I finally felt like I could get a good nap in.
It was the most epic nap ever.
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